Let me start off by mentioning that -the saying, “hate is a strong word” is inherently stupid, because the word hate, I believe is a very descriptive and useful word. So descriptive in fact, I think it is something that aptly describes what I feel for you, Mr. Rivera. I know, I know… there, there, we all know you like to cry when you get your feelings hurt. Like the time you were crying for the babies in New Orleans, the time you cried for the people in Iraq and Afghanistan, or the time a chair flew at your face and broke you huge nose, and then you cried like a little bitch all over the media about it. This is neither here nor there though, there are many reasons I hate you, and let me tell you why…

While it is a bit superficial, I think your name is ri-god-damn-diculous. Geraldo sounds like a new menu item on the Taco Bell menu. “I’ll have the Cheesy Geraldo Crunch with no lettuce, and add sour cream, thanks.”

Now it may make me sound like a conspiracy theorist, but I think the Government secretly tried to destroy you. Operation Bring the Biased Media along for a Ride in Iraq or whatever it was called was a veiled attempt by the government to put you directly in harms way in hopes your head would get blown off. Of course you fucked that up though, by giving away the location of your squad by drawing a map in the sand, endangering real Americans. So the military forced you out of Iraq, albeit they were probably overreacting, assuming an Iraqi would have access to a television that broadcast Fox News. At that time the only channels available to the Iraqi’s were: the I love Saddam channel, the Caucasian head chopping off channel, the let us burn American Flags in the streets with no shoes on channel, the suicide bus bomber channel, and the standard across the middle east, we hate the Jews channel.

I’m not saying you’re not a talented reporter, because Geraldo you aren’t, you’re just a terribly annoying person, and you being married five times is the proof. Your talents would be better suited for people with disabilities, more specifically deaf people. They would still have to see you but at least they wouldn’t hear you, and they respond to people waving their hands around in a fit of overacted drama.

While we are on the subject of seeing you lets take care of two things right now. First, if you insist being on TV, at least shave that thing off of your upper lip, I don’t what it is, and I think it may be alive, it needs to die. Second your nose is so huge, please do something as soon as possible, babies are screaming their heads off for God’s sake (see attached photo).

So you’re probably wondering if I am writing you to just to tell you I hate you. Well you’re right. I hate you. I hate the fact that you act like a baby, embellish stories, totally lie to the American public, and I think it is a sad fact that when I see you on the News, you look like what a comedian would do to imitate you.

Geraldo, you’re pathetic and I hate you. Good day.